Remember a dude on the hill (square) throwing mom into another psycho bitch meltdown. Which obviously resulted in yet another savage beating for me at her hands.
As previously mentioned, there was an undercurrent by some hard core christians in town. So this guy provokes a beating for me. And he is confronted by another dude. I didn't know either of them. So the dude who provoked the beating is in his car on the north side of the hill. Guy #2 is ordering him out of town, not to come back. Yelling "Git out of here!" Then punches him thru the drivers side window. Guy one floors his car, smokin the tires. Never see him again.
Another memory frag. Remember the preacher from one of the christian churches telling a guy who provoked a beating he couldn't attend this particular church anymore, because others in the church were pissed at him for provoking the beating. The preacher goes on to tell him he needs to be in church somewhere, just not this particular church. Because of the unrest he has caused.
Another memory frag. Remember dad bitchin at mom because her psycho bitch meltdowns were the subject of a mass mailing to all high school students. By this time, enough teens had pushed her buttons, and provoked many beatings for me out in public. So the letter said anyone doing this from the high school as a student would be expelled. If they threw mom into a rage. So dad is giving her shit for being the subject of a letter like this. Don't know how I avoided a beating over this one.
Another memory frag. As I hit fifth grade, the beatings had pretty much stopped. I suppose the reason could have been that mom had started to get her shit together. However, my suspicion does not give her this much credit. My gut tells me I was approaching the physical size to fight back. I was held back in first grade. So I was a year older than the other kids. By sixth grade I was as big, or maybe bigger than mom. And when she was kicking my ass when I was 5, 6, or 7, there was no fair fight. I just took the beating because she was so much bigger. 5th grade, I think she realized she could no longer just dominate me physically. And maybe one day I might fight back with at least some success. So my gut says this is the truth.
Another memory frag. This was after the previously blogged trip to my dads side of the family to crane for some holiday. Mom is in a psycho bitch slow boil. I think she doesn't want to go to crane because she already doesn't get along with them. So she is taking it out on me. Starts coming up with some made up bullshit about "dead skin" behind my ears, because she said I wasn't washing there. That was the only time I ever heard this was medically possibly. So I am pretty sure it is just psycho bitch pissed off bullshit. So she has me in the front seat with my head in her lap. And she is trying to scrub off the dead shin she claims is there. And it hurts. So I am crying. And this is after the child abuse (true) by Aunt Jean. So dad doesn't want to show up at crane with me crying with the scrubbing. So for only the second time I can think of dad stands up to mom, and tells her to quit. He probably figured out she was pissed over having to go to crane and be around the people who had truly accused her of child abuse. So first time dad tells her to quit, mom mouths back at him, and keeps going. The second time dad says he would pull over. So mom quit. This was maybe ten minutes from crane. So you could still tell I had been crying. So of course I get questioned. And cover, as I was coached. Dad had fed me a line about the family had to stick together.
Friday, May 29, 2015
Thursday, May 28, 2015
first or second grade. Albert Erb goes to the school board and gets a shrink to talk to me about the beatings I am taking off psycho bitch mom. Turned out to be a hot blonde. She tries to hug me. I pull away. She goes to hug me again. And I pull away.
She starts saying "this child doesn't trust me" Erb tells her that I don't trust anyone. And calls her aside. I assume he tells her about this thing that happens.
There was a woman I was seeing at the elementary school. I'm not sure who she worked for. Possibly SMSU. She is "helping" Erb with my situation. So she talks to a phd at SMSU. Who comes up with the idea to set mom up. Throw her into a psycho bitch meltdown on purpose in order to film it on an 8mm camera. They even ask me if it's okay. I was afraid to say no. I was scared of any adult. So it happens. Right in the lobby of the elementary school. The idea was to take the film to people in the state legislature to give schools more power over this type of thing. That is getting parents in legal trouble. So later, Erb tells this lady the state legislature didn't buy in. So the lady starts bitching about not believing she let herself be talked into participating in this scenario. And that she was going to commit suicide. I remember her even bitching at the SMSU phd in front of me. And I remember Erb going to the ladies funeral. Then I caught something about the phd who had tenure being in trouble with the state legislature because it was his idea. And he mouthed off at them that they couldn't touch him because he had tenure. So the state legislature dudes start talking about cutting funding for his salary out of the SMSU budget. So the university asks the phd to resign so they don't have to put him on trial to revoke his tenure. Promised to get him a job teaching english at a Kansas community college. Which he took.
So this hot blonde shrink tells Erb he is unprofessional for setting up my beating. Putting "a hit on a child" the lady who committed suicide called it.
This hot blonde shrink starts going around town bitching that the whole town is guilty of terrorizing children.
I believe this is part of the reason the local hard core Christians got so stirred up.
They got the 50ish woman at the MFA grocery fired for screaming at mom "you are going to hell". By threatening a boycott of MFA.
Densil Taylor owned a DX gas station. One of his employees threw mom into a psycho bitch rage. And like always I took a savage ass kicking. And before we left local christians were bitching at Densil. saying they would get together with the other christian church in town and boycott his station. Unless he fired the guy who provoked moms meltdown. Densil hollared at the guy accross the lot to "git out of here! I'll mail you your check".
She starts saying "this child doesn't trust me" Erb tells her that I don't trust anyone. And calls her aside. I assume he tells her about this thing that happens.
There was a woman I was seeing at the elementary school. I'm not sure who she worked for. Possibly SMSU. She is "helping" Erb with my situation. So she talks to a phd at SMSU. Who comes up with the idea to set mom up. Throw her into a psycho bitch meltdown on purpose in order to film it on an 8mm camera. They even ask me if it's okay. I was afraid to say no. I was scared of any adult. So it happens. Right in the lobby of the elementary school. The idea was to take the film to people in the state legislature to give schools more power over this type of thing. That is getting parents in legal trouble. So later, Erb tells this lady the state legislature didn't buy in. So the lady starts bitching about not believing she let herself be talked into participating in this scenario. And that she was going to commit suicide. I remember her even bitching at the SMSU phd in front of me. And I remember Erb going to the ladies funeral. Then I caught something about the phd who had tenure being in trouble with the state legislature because it was his idea. And he mouthed off at them that they couldn't touch him because he had tenure. So the state legislature dudes start talking about cutting funding for his salary out of the SMSU budget. So the university asks the phd to resign so they don't have to put him on trial to revoke his tenure. Promised to get him a job teaching english at a Kansas community college. Which he took.
So this hot blonde shrink tells Erb he is unprofessional for setting up my beating. Putting "a hit on a child" the lady who committed suicide called it.
This hot blonde shrink starts going around town bitching that the whole town is guilty of terrorizing children.
I believe this is part of the reason the local hard core Christians got so stirred up.
They got the 50ish woman at the MFA grocery fired for screaming at mom "you are going to hell". By threatening a boycott of MFA.
Densil Taylor owned a DX gas station. One of his employees threw mom into a psycho bitch rage. And like always I took a savage ass kicking. And before we left local christians were bitching at Densil. saying they would get together with the other christian church in town and boycott his station. Unless he fired the guy who provoked moms meltdown. Densil hollared at the guy accross the lot to "git out of here! I'll mail you your check".
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
play date
So mom gets a call from a woman with a boy the same age as me. And they set up a play date.
I don't like the kid, and when mom asks if I want to play with him, I say no. Yet again mom gets pissed and says we are going anyway.
So we get to their place, and we are supposed to start playing. And I really didn't like this kid. So I tell him to go ahead and play, and I'll watch. That lasts a couple of minutes. And I still refuse to participate. By this time I had resigned myself to the understanding that I would rarely be able to guess the correct answer. And mom was a psycho bitch who would lose her temper no matter what I said or did. Which meant I would take these beatings no matter what. My phd was understanding the psycho bitch would get pissed no matter what. So I end up taking another beating here. While the other mother was screaming at mom
I don't like the kid, and when mom asks if I want to play with him, I say no. Yet again mom gets pissed and says we are going anyway.
So we get to their place, and we are supposed to start playing. And I really didn't like this kid. So I tell him to go ahead and play, and I'll watch. That lasts a couple of minutes. And I still refuse to participate. By this time I had resigned myself to the understanding that I would rarely be able to guess the correct answer. And mom was a psycho bitch who would lose her temper no matter what I said or did. Which meant I would take these beatings no matter what. My phd was understanding the psycho bitch would get pissed no matter what. So I end up taking another beating here. While the other mother was screaming at mom
Patsy H
So my mom and Patsy H were friends at one time. And I had been in their home a few times in my early childhood. So Patsy decided to "talk" to my mom on the hill (square) one day. Didn't hear what was said, but whatever was said threw my mom into a psycho bitch rageaholic meltdown. And lets all say it together, this resulted in my taking yet another savage beating at my moms hands until the rage subsided. So Bill Kehoe was a Greene County sherriff deputy. And his beat was my town. So he is present as I am taking my beating. So Patsy H starts screaming for him to "Do something Bill!" So he stands there watching for a few seconds, while Patsy H is still screaming "Do something Bill" over and over. So Bill Kehoe tells mom, "Get off my square". And mom leaves. And as Mom is loading me up in the car, Patsy H asks Bill Kehoe, "Who is your boss?". Bill Kehoe tells her sherriff Mickey Owen. So fast forward a few days. I get pulled out of first grade. I am walking down the hall with Mrs Clark. Who is telling me the sherriff wants to see me. As if I should be impressed. And I am scared. I actually think they want to kill me. So I start crying and ask Mrs Clark to not let them kill me. Si at the principles office Mrs Clark tells Erb, in an effort to cancel the whole thing. By then I truly believe I am about to die. And my whole body is trembling. Erb says to bring me in the office anyway. Sherriff Mickey Owen is there. And Bill Kehoe. And Owens starts telling Kehoe how unacceptable his actions were. And fires him. Then asks why I am trembling. Mrs Clark tells him. And Owens and Kehoe leave. Mrs Clark and Erb begin arguing. And Mrs Clark asks to speak to Mr Thomas. The superintendent. And we do. Mr Thomas tells Erb he is his man in charge in the elementary school. And he relies on him to make on the spot decisions. Mrs Clark points at me and says that I am still shaking. Mr Thomas starts talking about possible bad pub that may result. And calls Owens.
baseball
So this is like first grade. Some parents are trying to get together a little league team. And need one more child from my class. So Gracie B thinks of me. And calls my mom. By this point I have a phd in moms rageaholic meltdowns that result in my beatings. So mom calls me over, and asks me if I want to play baseball. I had a ball and baseball glove I played with. As I was thinking this is liable to end in another beating if I don't do well, I say no. So mom gets an angry look on her face. And tells me I am going to play anyway. Flashes of anger like this scare me more. So I am taken out to the ball field. And am asked to go out on the field. I start saying over and over "I don't want to". Trying to avert possible beatings by not screwing up. So mom starts screeching for me to be dragged out onto the field. Eventually we are told to leave, because I will not be forced to play. Surprise, surprise, I start taking yet another psycho bitch savage beating. A Greene County sherrifffs deputy is dispatched. And when the dude shows up, the assault is still underway. So the deputy sits there maybe a minute watching the assault. Then gets out and places mom under arrest. As this is on school property, and my father is a teacher, I am sent to my father. I go in the office. Dad doesn't want me there, and sends me out into the classroom. The deputy is watching thru the windows. And orders me back into dads office. Dad orders me back into the classroom. So the deputy steps into the office and tells dad to stand and put his hands behind his back. Dad asks "what's the charge?". Deputy says "interfering with an investigation". Dad says as a school teacher he will automatically be fired if arrested. No questions asked. And asks the cop to reconsider. So dad is not arrested. But mom is. Dad says mom needs to stay there a few days to learn to control her temper. And he does. And mom screams at him about not bailing her out a few days later.
So fast forward to school a few days later. The grade school principal Albert Erb pulls me out of class because he is talking to a judge on the phone who is ordering him to bring me to his courtroom. initially Albert Erb refuses. So the judge tells Erb he will issue an arrest warrant for him. So Erb does a 180, and tells the judge he will have me there in 20 minutes. So in the courtroom some of the parents who tried to get me to play baseball are there. The judge questions them about knowing of moms rageaholic meltdowns. After having read them their Miranda warning. They admit knowing before asking to have me on the team. So then the judge tells them they just had a bench trail, and they are guilty of felony child endangerment. And being a convicted felon is a red letter day in their lives. Then encourages them to appeal. I think this judge wanted to be overturned. And that he wanted the town buzzing about what could happen if you put children in danger.
So Chris Bs dad confronts dad about his "crazy wife". And wants him to pay for the lawyer to appeal. Dad says no. And Chris Bs dad threatens to kick dads ass. Dad stands up. And chris bs dad sees he is not big enough to seriously challenge dad. And steps off
So fast forward to school a few days later. The grade school principal Albert Erb pulls me out of class because he is talking to a judge on the phone who is ordering him to bring me to his courtroom. initially Albert Erb refuses. So the judge tells Erb he will issue an arrest warrant for him. So Erb does a 180, and tells the judge he will have me there in 20 minutes. So in the courtroom some of the parents who tried to get me to play baseball are there. The judge questions them about knowing of moms rageaholic meltdowns. After having read them their Miranda warning. They admit knowing before asking to have me on the team. So then the judge tells them they just had a bench trail, and they are guilty of felony child endangerment. And being a convicted felon is a red letter day in their lives. Then encourages them to appeal. I think this judge wanted to be overturned. And that he wanted the town buzzing about what could happen if you put children in danger.
So Chris Bs dad confronts dad about his "crazy wife". And wants him to pay for the lawyer to appeal. Dad says no. And Chris Bs dad threatens to kick dads ass. Dad stands up. And chris bs dad sees he is not big enough to seriously challenge dad. And steps off
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
My parents were summoned to hear a sermon at a local church so that they could hear something that personally concerned them. And of course it concerned moms psycho bitch rageaholic meltdowns. So the pastor starts talking about how a good solid christian has an obligation to stop an assault on a child in their presence. So my older brother Mike starts saying over and over to me, "They are talking about you". Says it over and over excitedly. As if I didn't understand. When obviously I did. So I am sitting there in the pew hoping Mike shuts up. As you can visibly see mom stewing in a rage. So Mike keeps repeating himself over and over loud enough for the whole church to hear. So Mom gets up and starts ordering Mike to shut up over and over. And from Mikes' perspective, why should he. He never takes a beating when mom gets pissed. It's always me. No matter who does the pissing off. So the pastor is watching this from the pulpit. And gives an instruction to the church elders to take a pre planned course of action. So several adult males come between the pews, and start telling mom to leave the church. As she is clearly enraged. To this day I don't understand why she didn't start kicking my ass before this point. So she is initially refusing to comply with the instruction to leave the church. But eventually she does. And the whole church empties out into the parking area. And the preacher is telling mom to leave the property on foot. While us kids are standing by our car. Guess he knew if she came our way, I would take an ass kicking. Mom is trying to force her way past the preacher towards us. While this is going on, the preacher calls out to his congregation about how everyone was in on keeping mom under control with force. At that point several adult males join in on barring mom from coming our way. Mom calls out to dad "to defend me". And a man standing next to dad tells him there are people prepared to go to jail, which must have meant a fistfight would go down. So dad said something about he wasn't going to get involved physically. So mom walks toward the square, and eventually we get her in the car. And she never did try and get at me. Although she bitched at dad for not fighting for her.
So by now you should understand how bizarre my moms rageaholic meltdowns were. And the beatings I took as a result.
And no, I do not make this up.
And no I do not add fiction to fact. It is all true as I remember it.
So by now you should understand how bizarre my moms rageaholic meltdowns were. And the beatings I took as a result.
And no, I do not make this up.
And no I do not add fiction to fact. It is all true as I remember it.
Friday, May 22, 2015
continued from previous post
So this 2nd second grade teacher was fired also. She disappeared too.
4th grade. Mrs Morris is the teacher. I was having trouble learning division. So she calls mom. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this triggers yet another psycho bitch meltdown. And yes I take another beating. This is only one of 2 times that my father did anything about the beatings. He walks back to my room where I am being beat. And tells mom "this needs to stop". She glares at him. And he turns and walks away. Next morning he asks me to take him to my classroom. He's a teacher, remember. He points to my bruised face, and tells Morris not to call mom. Cause mom is crazy. So Morris goes on about how dad will then have to coach me on division. Dad tells her, "So you are coming over and doing my work on the farm". Morris says "no". Then dad tells her "either you tutor him, or it's not gonna happen". And she did. Morris tells Erb about the beating. Erb tells her that if it is reported to the state, mom just hires a lawyer, and it all goes away, "We've been down this road before"
Which was true. Mom was in court over the beatings. I was scared shitless. So I get put on the stand. They tried to swear me in. Due to my coaching I just said "I don't know" about the telling the truth thing. The judge finally gets me to say yes about telling the truth, but I just revert to "I don't know" over and over. Mom was right there. And all I could do was picture yet another psycho bitch meltdown. So the judge throws out the case. So we all leave, me, mom, her lawyer. Front steps of the courthouse. Lawyer tells mom she has to control herself. Guess what, another psycho bitch meltdown, right there on the courthouse steps. So I am getting beat. Someone gets a bailiff out there to pull mom off me. Judge reconvenes court. I gut put on the stand. My face is in the process of swelling up. But again, "I don't know when questioned on the stand. Case thrown out. And mom jumps up and yells something at the judge, ending in pointing her finger at the judge while yelling "motherfucker". So the judge says something about contempt of court. And Mom gets taken to jail. I end up in the judges chambers. And someone gets sent out for food for me. Which was good. Dad shows up, and takes me home. I overhear him saying something about leaving her in jail to teach her a lesson. Which he does. When she gets home a few days later mom raises hell with dad for not bailing her out quicker.
I was there when mom hired the lawyer. At the lawyers office. I was left outside with the secratary until mom explained to the lawyer. Then I was sent in.
4th grade. Mrs Morris is the teacher. I was having trouble learning division. So she calls mom. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this triggers yet another psycho bitch meltdown. And yes I take another beating. This is only one of 2 times that my father did anything about the beatings. He walks back to my room where I am being beat. And tells mom "this needs to stop". She glares at him. And he turns and walks away. Next morning he asks me to take him to my classroom. He's a teacher, remember. He points to my bruised face, and tells Morris not to call mom. Cause mom is crazy. So Morris goes on about how dad will then have to coach me on division. Dad tells her, "So you are coming over and doing my work on the farm". Morris says "no". Then dad tells her "either you tutor him, or it's not gonna happen". And she did. Morris tells Erb about the beating. Erb tells her that if it is reported to the state, mom just hires a lawyer, and it all goes away, "We've been down this road before"
Which was true. Mom was in court over the beatings. I was scared shitless. So I get put on the stand. They tried to swear me in. Due to my coaching I just said "I don't know" about the telling the truth thing. The judge finally gets me to say yes about telling the truth, but I just revert to "I don't know" over and over. Mom was right there. And all I could do was picture yet another psycho bitch meltdown. So the judge throws out the case. So we all leave, me, mom, her lawyer. Front steps of the courthouse. Lawyer tells mom she has to control herself. Guess what, another psycho bitch meltdown, right there on the courthouse steps. So I am getting beat. Someone gets a bailiff out there to pull mom off me. Judge reconvenes court. I gut put on the stand. My face is in the process of swelling up. But again, "I don't know when questioned on the stand. Case thrown out. And mom jumps up and yells something at the judge, ending in pointing her finger at the judge while yelling "motherfucker". So the judge says something about contempt of court. And Mom gets taken to jail. I end up in the judges chambers. And someone gets sent out for food for me. Which was good. Dad shows up, and takes me home. I overhear him saying something about leaving her in jail to teach her a lesson. Which he does. When she gets home a few days later mom raises hell with dad for not bailing her out quicker.
I was there when mom hired the lawyer. At the lawyers office. I was left outside with the secratary until mom explained to the lawyer. Then I was sent in.
second grade
Second grade. Mrs Koch is the teacher. She gets it in her head I am not being socialized correctly. And I was probably wasn't as not being beat was all I cared about. Or was at least priority one thru five. So she plays games with me. Puts me up in front of the class to show crayon art. I sucked at art. Always have. Don't care about doing it. Other kids would boo me. She was calling mom about this, Which guess what, provoked more psycho bitch meltdowns. And more beatings for me. So I was present when Albert Erb fired this Koch woman. Erb was telling her she couldn't call my psycho bitch Mom. And Koch was babbling on about how I HAD to be socialized. And Erb was trying to make her understand she couldn't provoke psycho bitch meltdowns like that. So Erb tells her that he is terminating her contract. And taking steps to have her teaching certificate pulled. And she could just go down to arkansas and get another teaching certificate easier if she didn't fight it. There was a little old man saying he was gonna call down to arkansas to try and prevent this. Then Erb told her she had 5 minutes to get off school property.
Think this was the teacher that replaced Koch. Woman maybe mid 50s. Don't remember her name. Giving me 1 on 1 instruction at my desk. I couldn't figure out what she was getting at, and kept pointing at the wrong answer. So she raised her arm as if to strike me. Scared the hell out of me. Thought I was gonna take yet another ass kicking. So I dived onto the floor, taking the chair and desk with me. Making a racket Girls in the class see the teacher standing there with arm raised, and assume I had just had the crap knocked out of me. The girls start screaming. This was 2nd grade, because Mrs Patterson, the other 2nd grade teacher from accross the hall to ask what was gong on. The other teacher starts crying, knowing she is in deep shit. And takes me to the nurses office. I got switched into Mrs Patterson's class. But ask to go back, because my friends were there. Erb tells the teacher she is gonna have her teaching certificate pulled. Other students have statements taken
Think this was the teacher that replaced Koch. Woman maybe mid 50s. Don't remember her name. Giving me 1 on 1 instruction at my desk. I couldn't figure out what she was getting at, and kept pointing at the wrong answer. So she raised her arm as if to strike me. Scared the hell out of me. Thought I was gonna take yet another ass kicking. So I dived onto the floor, taking the chair and desk with me. Making a racket Girls in the class see the teacher standing there with arm raised, and assume I had just had the crap knocked out of me. The girls start screaming. This was 2nd grade, because Mrs Patterson, the other 2nd grade teacher from accross the hall to ask what was gong on. The other teacher starts crying, knowing she is in deep shit. And takes me to the nurses office. I got switched into Mrs Patterson's class. But ask to go back, because my friends were there. Erb tells the teacher she is gonna have her teaching certificate pulled. Other students have statements taken
first grade
First grade. Mrs Vogel is my teacher. Remember her having arguments with Albert Erb over how to handle me. I figured since I was getting my ass kicked regular and violently by an adult, all this crap about keeping your hands to yourself was just empty words. So I would kick ass on my classmates. So Albert Erb fires Vogel over not seeing eye to eye with him. I think over how to handle me.
Held back in 1st grade for a second year. Mrs Clark is my teacher. So I continue kicking ass. Hell, I figured if it was okay for me to get my ass kicked regular, then the rules were the same with everyone. So Mrs Clark, with Albert Erk standing there, starts yelling at me, so I figure here comes an ass kicking, and get down on the floor in the fetal position. Mrs Clark tells me to get up, and starts yelling again, and I go down again. Erb tells her about the beatings I am getting from mom, and I think she is going to do the same thing. From there on out she is sweet to me. Helps me to read better.
Held back in 1st grade for a second year. Mrs Clark is my teacher. So I continue kicking ass. Hell, I figured if it was okay for me to get my ass kicked regular, then the rules were the same with everyone. So Mrs Clark, with Albert Erk standing there, starts yelling at me, so I figure here comes an ass kicking, and get down on the floor in the fetal position. Mrs Clark tells me to get up, and starts yelling again, and I go down again. Erb tells her about the beatings I am getting from mom, and I think she is going to do the same thing. From there on out she is sweet to me. Helps me to read better.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
continued from previous post
So at some point in this general era, mom receives a call from her sister, Aunt Mary Lou. Who is living in Texas. And lo and behold, Aunt Mary Lou asks to talk to me. That never happened before. Aunt Mary Lou starts asking me about the beatings. So I did as I was coached, and repeated "I don't know" over and over until Aunt Mary Lou asked to speak to mom. As mom handed the phone to me she had a concerned look. Like maybe I would snitch.
Later Mom busts dad as having given Aunt Jean Aunt Mary Lou's phone number out of her address book. that was a pretty intense fight that lasted weeks.
A few months later in the summer we go down to Texas to visit Aunt Mary Lou. And now I am afraid of Aunt Mary Lou because she had hassled me on the phone. For good reason. One adult was savagely kicking my ass on a routine basis. So any adult was capable, and not to be trusted. So we get there after like a 12 hour ride in the station wagon. And I am afraid of Aunt Mary Lou. And refuse to get out. Finally I tell dad Mary Lou will kill me. Mary Lou comes out and promises not to kill me.
So that made me okay with her.
Later Mom busts dad as having given Aunt Jean Aunt Mary Lou's phone number out of her address book. that was a pretty intense fight that lasted weeks.
A few months later in the summer we go down to Texas to visit Aunt Mary Lou. And now I am afraid of Aunt Mary Lou because she had hassled me on the phone. For good reason. One adult was savagely kicking my ass on a routine basis. So any adult was capable, and not to be trusted. So we get there after like a 12 hour ride in the station wagon. And I am afraid of Aunt Mary Lou. And refuse to get out. Finally I tell dad Mary Lou will kill me. Mary Lou comes out and promises not to kill me.
So that made me okay with her.
more child abuse
Was down in Crane for some holiday with fathers side of the family. Thinkin he was bein friendly with me, Uncle Joe hollars at me in a jovial way. By this time I had been beat enough that an adult yelling at me scared me. So I asked him not to kill me. Aunt Jean (Joe's wife) got pissed at Joe. So Aunt Jean bought this weird play fort thing for little kids. And next visit to Crane, she tried to give it to me. Walking on eggshells around adults like I was, this just gave me the willies, and I refused it, and asked her not to attack me. Which was reasonable as I had been savagely been beaten by an adult before. So psycho bitch Mom, lost it, yet again, and commenced kicking my ass. Right there in front of everyone at the family gathering at Crane. This was the first time people outside of my families small town had witnessed one of my mothers psycho bitch meltdowns/assaults. So they freaked out. My grandmother (fathers mother) goes over to dad and asks him to get mom under control. While I am getting my ass kicked bad by someone several times my size. And dad awkwardly refuses his own mother. So grandmother turns to Joe, and Uncle Joe pulls mom off me, and holds her down on the floor, until her rage subsides, and she stops struggling.
Uncle Joe was pissed because I refused the play fort that he had paid for. Aunt Jean told him to shut up or she would divorce him and take his beloved money.
So Aunt Jean was a certified teacher. As was Uncle Joe, who was also a vo ag teacher. which is how they met. Before Uncle Joe was chosen over my father to take over the family homestead farm at Crane. The one they had grown up on as kids.
So Aunt Jean knew about the law that required teachers to report suspected child abuse. The punishment included a prison sentence. So One day I am in class. Maybe kindergarton or first grade. Albert Erb, the grade school principle pulls me out of class. And takes me over to the vo ag building. I was surprised to see Aunt Jean and Uncle Joe. All the way from Crane. 40 or 50 miles away maybe. I think Mr Thomas, the superintendent might have been there also. So I am freakin out on what might be going on. Dad is teaching a class. So If I remember right, Mr Thomas opens the door and calls dad out of the classroom. Dad responds, "I am teaching a class". Which is obvious. So dad continues with his class for a couple of minutes. He can see the group waiting to speak to him. Thru the glass in the door. Sees who is there. And obviously is able to figure out there is no way this can be good. And that mom has been snitched out to his bosses by his brother and his wife. So he gives in, and walks out to face the music. I don't remember what was said, other than Aunt Jean told Albert Erb about the state law on child abuse. And now that he knew, he had a legal obligation to take action, or face a possible prison sentence.
So now the school is involved in the whole mess. Along with some hard core christians in town who had witnessed some of the beatings. And believed they had a moral obligation to intervene. A "what would Jesus do" mindset.
Another visit to Crane in the same general time frame. The sequence of the visits has been clouded by time. But we are heading down to Crane. And I am afraid of Aunt Jean and Uncle Joe. Probably because by this time they have instigated a painful beating at my mothers hands. So before we left I asked to be left at home. And was refused. It was raining hard. So we arrived. And I was convinced Aunt Jean and Uncle Joe hated me. So I ran thru the yard and found a dry spot under a roof overhang of an outbuilding. Eventually it was figured out I wasn't inside. And my cousins found me. And told me I was wanted inside. I told them "everyone in there hates me". Eventually Aunt Jean comes out to coax me in. And I continue to refuse a while. Until I am finally coaxed in.
Uncle Joe was pissed because I refused the play fort that he had paid for. Aunt Jean told him to shut up or she would divorce him and take his beloved money.
So Aunt Jean was a certified teacher. As was Uncle Joe, who was also a vo ag teacher. which is how they met. Before Uncle Joe was chosen over my father to take over the family homestead farm at Crane. The one they had grown up on as kids.
So Aunt Jean knew about the law that required teachers to report suspected child abuse. The punishment included a prison sentence. So One day I am in class. Maybe kindergarton or first grade. Albert Erb, the grade school principle pulls me out of class. And takes me over to the vo ag building. I was surprised to see Aunt Jean and Uncle Joe. All the way from Crane. 40 or 50 miles away maybe. I think Mr Thomas, the superintendent might have been there also. So I am freakin out on what might be going on. Dad is teaching a class. So If I remember right, Mr Thomas opens the door and calls dad out of the classroom. Dad responds, "I am teaching a class". Which is obvious. So dad continues with his class for a couple of minutes. He can see the group waiting to speak to him. Thru the glass in the door. Sees who is there. And obviously is able to figure out there is no way this can be good. And that mom has been snitched out to his bosses by his brother and his wife. So he gives in, and walks out to face the music. I don't remember what was said, other than Aunt Jean told Albert Erb about the state law on child abuse. And now that he knew, he had a legal obligation to take action, or face a possible prison sentence.
So now the school is involved in the whole mess. Along with some hard core christians in town who had witnessed some of the beatings. And believed they had a moral obligation to intervene. A "what would Jesus do" mindset.
Another visit to Crane in the same general time frame. The sequence of the visits has been clouded by time. But we are heading down to Crane. And I am afraid of Aunt Jean and Uncle Joe. Probably because by this time they have instigated a painful beating at my mothers hands. So before we left I asked to be left at home. And was refused. It was raining hard. So we arrived. And I was convinced Aunt Jean and Uncle Joe hated me. So I ran thru the yard and found a dry spot under a roof overhang of an outbuilding. Eventually it was figured out I wasn't inside. And my cousins found me. And told me I was wanted inside. I told them "everyone in there hates me". Eventually Aunt Jean comes out to coax me in. And I continue to refuse a while. Until I am finally coaxed in.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
number 3
So a person might ask what my father did about the beatings I received. Pretty much nothing. Besides watching them.
And coaching me to say "I don't know" when questioned by outsiders.
And the asshole did sexually assault me once. Maybe I'm lucky he only did that once. Since I have read most child molesters are serial child molesters. Maybe he did it once and got scared he would lose his teaching job or go to jail.
Years later I had a guy walk up to me and tell me "your Dad parties" Then went on to tell me about seeing him in a bar getting drunk. And he could pretty much leave the house and say he had some kind of teachers meeting, or area ag teachers meeting. Which he did from time to time. So my dad had this secret life.
Then for years my mom accused my dad of being homosexual. I don't know that she had any real proof. Or that this was just more psycho bitch bullshit.
I do remember walking into school many times after one of these beatings, and hurting so bad I could only take baby steps.
One time, all us kids were at the farm with mom. Dad was gone for some reason. My younger sister was around by this time. My oldest brother ran his mouth at my mom that she was abusing us. And of course this threw her into another psycho bitch meltdown. She would kick me onto the ground, then start screaming for me to get up, so I would get up. And she would kick me onto the ground again. So this goes on for a few minutes. And my 2 brothers and sister just starts saying "mom" over and over. So she stops, and runs into a field next to the house. And she stays there. And I'm laying on the ground hurting. My oldest brother starts pulling on my arm to move me. I tell him to stop because it hurts. So he stops. Dad gets home, sees me laying on the ground, and mom coming in from the field. Looks at her, and said "You did it again, didn't you?" And she doesn't answer.
So the next morning we get up and I get ready for school. Dad sees me ready for school, and my face was 100% bruised. Dad tells her "If you send him to school like that I guarantee you will be in the county jail by noon". "And I won't take the blame for you". So I was kept home. To this day I don't know if my older brothers snitched my mom out at school, but several Greene County sheriffs deputies show up at the house. My mom won't let them in telling them I am sick. The deputies tell her they have a search warrant and are coming in. They finally force the back door open. In a mud room with a washing machine in it. Which had water pipes along the walls at elbow level for the washing machine. So my mom is pissed, and screaming at the deputies. So the deputies cuff her to the water pipe. And mom starts struggling against the cuffs. And the pipes start spraying water. So dad has to be called out to fix the flooding thing. So a social worker is there taking pictures of me. One of the deputies calls in and asks if they want mom arrested. And is told no. But not before Mom initially denies them permission to use the phone. And she is then told she would then be arrested. So she changed her tune and granted permission. The social worker looks at her and says "God help you" after taking photos of my bruises.
Mom hired a lawyer and it all went away. Which was a recurring theme.
And coaching me to say "I don't know" when questioned by outsiders.
And the asshole did sexually assault me once. Maybe I'm lucky he only did that once. Since I have read most child molesters are serial child molesters. Maybe he did it once and got scared he would lose his teaching job or go to jail.
Years later I had a guy walk up to me and tell me "your Dad parties" Then went on to tell me about seeing him in a bar getting drunk. And he could pretty much leave the house and say he had some kind of teachers meeting, or area ag teachers meeting. Which he did from time to time. So my dad had this secret life.
Then for years my mom accused my dad of being homosexual. I don't know that she had any real proof. Or that this was just more psycho bitch bullshit.
I do remember walking into school many times after one of these beatings, and hurting so bad I could only take baby steps.
One time, all us kids were at the farm with mom. Dad was gone for some reason. My younger sister was around by this time. My oldest brother ran his mouth at my mom that she was abusing us. And of course this threw her into another psycho bitch meltdown. She would kick me onto the ground, then start screaming for me to get up, so I would get up. And she would kick me onto the ground again. So this goes on for a few minutes. And my 2 brothers and sister just starts saying "mom" over and over. So she stops, and runs into a field next to the house. And she stays there. And I'm laying on the ground hurting. My oldest brother starts pulling on my arm to move me. I tell him to stop because it hurts. So he stops. Dad gets home, sees me laying on the ground, and mom coming in from the field. Looks at her, and said "You did it again, didn't you?" And she doesn't answer.
So the next morning we get up and I get ready for school. Dad sees me ready for school, and my face was 100% bruised. Dad tells her "If you send him to school like that I guarantee you will be in the county jail by noon". "And I won't take the blame for you". So I was kept home. To this day I don't know if my older brothers snitched my mom out at school, but several Greene County sheriffs deputies show up at the house. My mom won't let them in telling them I am sick. The deputies tell her they have a search warrant and are coming in. They finally force the back door open. In a mud room with a washing machine in it. Which had water pipes along the walls at elbow level for the washing machine. So my mom is pissed, and screaming at the deputies. So the deputies cuff her to the water pipe. And mom starts struggling against the cuffs. And the pipes start spraying water. So dad has to be called out to fix the flooding thing. So a social worker is there taking pictures of me. One of the deputies calls in and asks if they want mom arrested. And is told no. But not before Mom initially denies them permission to use the phone. And she is then told she would then be arrested. So she changed her tune and granted permission. The social worker looks at her and says "God help you" after taking photos of my bruises.
Mom hired a lawyer and it all went away. Which was a recurring theme.
number two
So this 50ish woman who would scream at my mother on the hill, "You are going to hell" was eventually fired from her job at the MFA. I was standing there when Porter O'Dell, the manager, told my mother he fired her. Later I overheard talk that members of local christian churches were complaining to various people about the public beatings. Obviously a christian who was strong in their faith would see my mothers rageaholic meltdowns and subsequent beatings of me imoral. So I assume these people complained to porter O'Dell enough that he fired her as a public relations thing.
Early in my childhood my family would be invited to various "cookout" type situations in the local area. Probably this was connected to my father holding a teaching job at the local high school. There was a local farm family who had a pool behind their house. And would have these cookout parties in the summer. So I must have been 5 or 6. And was in the pool with a bunch of other kids. And all of the sudden my Mom starts screaming for me. So I come running. A lady grabs me by the arm, and tells me not to go to her. And I had an idea I was about to take another beating. But was too afraid not to report as ordered. And of course my psycho bitch mother was in a rage, and I took another beating. I assume someone confronted her about her activity. Something threw her into a rage, and this is my best guess. So of course all these beating s were very painful. I remember a teenage girl talking to my mother right as the beating was starting. I did not know her. She was telling my mother, "I forbid you". Then as the beating commenced, my mother was shouting something at this teenage girl angrily, and ending her rant with "little girl", directed at the teenage girl.
So after my mothers psycho bitch rage wore off, and the beating stopped, a very old woman arrives on the scene. And the teenage girl points out a grown man I don't know to the old lady. And said he refused to stop the beating. So the old lady tells the man she couldn't have him on the farm anymore. And would buy him a house in Kansas City so he could get a job there. Then my father was asked to get the family out of there. I think a family named Hankins lived on that farm later. Anyway, we lived a mile or so down the road. So after we were put to bed, Greene County sheriffs deputies showed up at the house asking about the incident. And my father lied his ass off, saying it didn't happen. an old man from the party was with the deputies. So my dad comes upstairs, tells me to stay, because I had signs of the beating. And took my brothers down. The old man, told the deputies there was another child. My dad continued the lie. And the deputy said he would get a search warrant. So my dad brings me down. The cop asks me questions. And I had been coached to say "I don't know". So the cops go away. The rest of the years I lived in the town the family was never asked to attend these cookout gatherings. Obviously because of my mothers rageaholic meltdowns.
Early in my childhood my family would be invited to various "cookout" type situations in the local area. Probably this was connected to my father holding a teaching job at the local high school. There was a local farm family who had a pool behind their house. And would have these cookout parties in the summer. So I must have been 5 or 6. And was in the pool with a bunch of other kids. And all of the sudden my Mom starts screaming for me. So I come running. A lady grabs me by the arm, and tells me not to go to her. And I had an idea I was about to take another beating. But was too afraid not to report as ordered. And of course my psycho bitch mother was in a rage, and I took another beating. I assume someone confronted her about her activity. Something threw her into a rage, and this is my best guess. So of course all these beating s were very painful. I remember a teenage girl talking to my mother right as the beating was starting. I did not know her. She was telling my mother, "I forbid you". Then as the beating commenced, my mother was shouting something at this teenage girl angrily, and ending her rant with "little girl", directed at the teenage girl.
So after my mothers psycho bitch rage wore off, and the beating stopped, a very old woman arrives on the scene. And the teenage girl points out a grown man I don't know to the old lady. And said he refused to stop the beating. So the old lady tells the man she couldn't have him on the farm anymore. And would buy him a house in Kansas City so he could get a job there. Then my father was asked to get the family out of there. I think a family named Hankins lived on that farm later. Anyway, we lived a mile or so down the road. So after we were put to bed, Greene County sheriffs deputies showed up at the house asking about the incident. And my father lied his ass off, saying it didn't happen. an old man from the party was with the deputies. So my dad comes upstairs, tells me to stay, because I had signs of the beating. And took my brothers down. The old man, told the deputies there was another child. My dad continued the lie. And the deputy said he would get a search warrant. So my dad brings me down. The cop asks me questions. And I had been coached to say "I don't know". So the cops go away. The rest of the years I lived in the town the family was never asked to attend these cookout gatherings. Obviously because of my mothers rageaholic meltdowns.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
The early years of my personal twilight zone
Washington D. C. 1961
I was born in the base hospital at Andrews AFB, Maryland. My father was a personnel officer in the Air Force at the time. My mother had been sent there due to having a cataract in her eye. Which was the medical practice at the time.
So she wanted a daughter. And got pissed when I turned out to be a son instead of the daughter she wanted. So she had a psycho bitch meltdown. Telling the medical staff she had prayed for a daughter. She told the medical staff to just swap her out a daughter another mother had produced. Eventually a shrink was called in to calm her down. Of course the only reason I know this is having overheard talk over the years.
So from day one I was on my own mother's shit list. I can't say I exactly remember when the first beating at her hands occurred. But it was early. Probably around 2 or so. I was told she used to have her psycho bitch meltdowns on my two older brothers. But never actually witnessed her beating them.
Before my first birthday, my mother bullied my father into getting out of the Air Force. Because she didn't want the family moving around in the military with young children. At the time there was me, and the two older brothers. So my father gets a job teaching high school in the southwest Missouri Ozarks.
I remember my mother always being psycho bitch pissed all the time in the early 1960s. She would scream at my older brothers and I. And she would chase us. And we would run away. This is when I received the first psycho bitch beatings that I remember.
Around this time, I remember her being in the bathtub. And she starts angrily screaming for me to come in the bathroom. And one of the only two times I remember my father standing up to her on my behalf happened. He told her to leave me alone. And she went ahead with her psycho bitch meltdown. And I ended up in there washing her with her angrily yelling at me. I was maybe 2 or 3 at the time.
By this time I was the only one taking her wrath. She left my 2 older brothers alone. When I was 3, a younger sister comes along.
Years later, as an adult, I learned my mother was addicted to pain killers during this time. And sure enough that explains an experience I had during this time. My two older brothers were in school. And I was home alone with my psycho bitch mother. I was hungry. And asked for food. And she said something like that's not important, and waved me away from her. Looking back on this, she was obviously stoned out on painkillers at the time. She had gotten addicted to them when she had her eye removed at Andrews Air Force Base a few years before. So she told me to climb up on the counter and fins something to eat. So when Dad got home, I start asking him for food. And he figures out Mom is stoned. So I was told years later she got off the painkillers.
However, around the age of 7 or 8 I remember her asking one of my older brothers friends, a guy named Charlie Jerimiah, to get drugs for her. So she never did get totally off drugs for a few years.
And many of her psycho bitch meltdowns were out in public. So needless to say, people in a small town gossip. And many of the locals were hard core christians. So after I had taken a few psycho bitch beatings at her hands in public, pretty much everyone in town knew what was going on. And there was a lady, probably in her 50s who worked in the MFA grocery store on the hill. Which is what we called the square in our little town. I never did know her name. When this lady saw my mom on the hill, she would come out on the sidewalk, and scream at my Mom, "You are going to hell". Which would obviously throw my Mother into one of her psycho bitch meltdowns. And I would take yet another savage beating. So one of these times, my Mother slams me into the side of our station wagon we drove. And my teeth cut the inside of my cheek. And I start bleeding a fair amount. And was spitting the blood out on the pavement of the square. By standers saw the amount of blood. And became concerned I might bleed to death. So they actually pulled my mother off of me. And used a wadded up paper towel stuck between my teeth and cheek to stop the bleeding. It was rare for people to pull my mother off of me during these psycho bitch meltdowns. Usually people just stood around and watched. Then stood around and looked at each other afterwards.
I was born in the base hospital at Andrews AFB, Maryland. My father was a personnel officer in the Air Force at the time. My mother had been sent there due to having a cataract in her eye. Which was the medical practice at the time.
So she wanted a daughter. And got pissed when I turned out to be a son instead of the daughter she wanted. So she had a psycho bitch meltdown. Telling the medical staff she had prayed for a daughter. She told the medical staff to just swap her out a daughter another mother had produced. Eventually a shrink was called in to calm her down. Of course the only reason I know this is having overheard talk over the years.
So from day one I was on my own mother's shit list. I can't say I exactly remember when the first beating at her hands occurred. But it was early. Probably around 2 or so. I was told she used to have her psycho bitch meltdowns on my two older brothers. But never actually witnessed her beating them.
Before my first birthday, my mother bullied my father into getting out of the Air Force. Because she didn't want the family moving around in the military with young children. At the time there was me, and the two older brothers. So my father gets a job teaching high school in the southwest Missouri Ozarks.
I remember my mother always being psycho bitch pissed all the time in the early 1960s. She would scream at my older brothers and I. And she would chase us. And we would run away. This is when I received the first psycho bitch beatings that I remember.
Around this time, I remember her being in the bathtub. And she starts angrily screaming for me to come in the bathroom. And one of the only two times I remember my father standing up to her on my behalf happened. He told her to leave me alone. And she went ahead with her psycho bitch meltdown. And I ended up in there washing her with her angrily yelling at me. I was maybe 2 or 3 at the time.
By this time I was the only one taking her wrath. She left my 2 older brothers alone. When I was 3, a younger sister comes along.
Years later, as an adult, I learned my mother was addicted to pain killers during this time. And sure enough that explains an experience I had during this time. My two older brothers were in school. And I was home alone with my psycho bitch mother. I was hungry. And asked for food. And she said something like that's not important, and waved me away from her. Looking back on this, she was obviously stoned out on painkillers at the time. She had gotten addicted to them when she had her eye removed at Andrews Air Force Base a few years before. So she told me to climb up on the counter and fins something to eat. So when Dad got home, I start asking him for food. And he figures out Mom is stoned. So I was told years later she got off the painkillers.
However, around the age of 7 or 8 I remember her asking one of my older brothers friends, a guy named Charlie Jerimiah, to get drugs for her. So she never did get totally off drugs for a few years.
And many of her psycho bitch meltdowns were out in public. So needless to say, people in a small town gossip. And many of the locals were hard core christians. So after I had taken a few psycho bitch beatings at her hands in public, pretty much everyone in town knew what was going on. And there was a lady, probably in her 50s who worked in the MFA grocery store on the hill. Which is what we called the square in our little town. I never did know her name. When this lady saw my mom on the hill, she would come out on the sidewalk, and scream at my Mom, "You are going to hell". Which would obviously throw my Mother into one of her psycho bitch meltdowns. And I would take yet another savage beating. So one of these times, my Mother slams me into the side of our station wagon we drove. And my teeth cut the inside of my cheek. And I start bleeding a fair amount. And was spitting the blood out on the pavement of the square. By standers saw the amount of blood. And became concerned I might bleed to death. So they actually pulled my mother off of me. And used a wadded up paper towel stuck between my teeth and cheek to stop the bleeding. It was rare for people to pull my mother off of me during these psycho bitch meltdowns. Usually people just stood around and watched. Then stood around and looked at each other afterwards.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)