Hard core christians

I remember various people "talking" to mom about her sins.  And provoking more beatings for me.  And sometimes another hard core christian would tell the original offending hard core christian,  "you got that child beat".  "you just stood there and watched".

There was one time mom was being spoken to by a local christian preacher.  And I was fully expecting yet another ass kicking.  And mom actually responded to the counseling.  Saying, "I get so mad".  So the preacher tells her to ask jesus to take her anger away.  And mom had started to develop her old testament views.  And told him she didn't accept jesus as the son of God.  So the preacher tells her to ask God to take her anger away.  I was truly surprised I didn't take a beating that day.

I remember hard core christians telling another hard core christian who had provoked yet another beating for me at mom's hands that they were "terrorizing children".  So perhaps this is why eventually, by 4th or 5th grade, hard core christians quit confronting mom over her sinful action.

Albert Erb

Albert Erb brought in a female social worker from the state to deal with mom.  And this woman said she would not take action because females deserved to be able to beat males in retaliation for discrimination against females.  So Erb told her angrily that he would "have her job" while shaking his fist at her.  Don't know what ever happened here.


I was held back a year in first grade at mom's request.  Which gave me my special teacher.  Who taught me to read better than I could before.  Mrs Clark.

I remember some female adult complaining to Erb that he wouldn't stop mom from savagely beating me in his presence.  Erb said, "I am a professional".  So the lady said, "Would Jesus stand there and watch a child take a beating?".  Erb answered "No".  The lady said, "So you are too good to do what Jesus would do?".  Erb just looked at her.    

Albert Erb

Around first grade, Albert Erb made a solemn promise to me he would stop my beatings at mom's hands.  Later, like a year or two, he come to me all embarrassed, and told me he wouldn't be able to stop the beatings.  He went further, saying his taking care of his own family was more important.  He didn't fully explain what he meant by that.  He also explained how adults had bungled my case.

Another time, I think before this, me and my younger sister were addressed by Erb.  Why my younger sister was there I never knew.  And Erb talked about how adults had screwed up my case, and were incompetent.  He went on to ask what we wanted him to do.  Almost like he wanted to shift his responsibility to 2 little kids.  I just looked at him and said, "You're the adult."  My younger sister repeated the same thing.

Kind of a strange situation.  However I view everything I post on this blog as strange to truly bizarre.

squeals of rage

Sometimes while taking a savage rage off mom, I would hear these quit squeals of rage from her.  Quiet enough that only I could hear them.

Sometimes it was almost like I was outside my own body taking these savage beatings.

Aunt Jean

So when dad's side of the family discovered mom's rageaholic meltdowns with my resulting beatings, they would screw with me.  So one time my grandmother is standing there talking to me.  Making me tense because I didn't totally get what she was talking about.  I was 5 or 6.  Aunt Jean told her to step off, or she and grandmother "were gonna tussle".  Another time grandmother was hugging me really hard, Aunt Jean again told her to step off.  Grandmother ignored her.  So Aunt Jean slapper her.  Grandmother looked at her, and said "Jean, you struck me".  Aunt Jean said I'll do it again if you don't stop.  Grandmother walked away.

5th grade

Fifth grade.  Mrs Ennis was my teacher.  Got sick one weekend in the fall.  Got worse.  Would get nauseated.  Dizzy, then stomach muscles would cramp up, I would double over, and vomit.  Then I couldn't breath for maybe a minute.  Was admitted to Lester E Cox Medical Center.  Spent 3 days there.  Leaving, mom told me I scared "the pants off her".  Then said God was warning her for mistreating me.  Only time in my life she ever admitted this.  To this day she denies any of what I post here ever happened.

Once at a different time, I heard her say to someone else, she "went a little crazy".

Dr Kenneth Knabb

I was maybe 6 or 7 when this happened.  Our family physician was Dr Kenneth Knabb.  And mom was forced to see him.  Probably thru my dad's work at school.  Or perhaps by the court.  Anyway, I am brought along.  I was taken everywhere with her.  Perhaps because of my young age, or perhaps as her whipping boy for when she had a rageaholic meltdown.  I got the feeling mom sensed the upcoming confrontation.  It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was coming.  So the receptionist tells mom she is not permitted to bring me back with her.  Mom starts saying she will as my legal guardian.  Again the receptionist says no, I am not to be taken in with mom to see Dr Knabb.  They go back and forth a few minutes, until mom finally relents.  And mom goes back to see Dr Knabb, and I remain in the waiting area.  Then a nurse opens the door to the waiting room and tells me to come with her.  I resist as I think this may provoke a beating.  At this point I have taken enough beatings, I am walking on egg shells, and suspect almost anything will trigger mom's meltdowns.  Which is true sometimes.  So eventually I relent.  And the nurse locks us in an exam room.

Eventually I hear mom fly into one of her rages.  Obviously because Dr Knabb has confronted her about her rageaholic meltdowns, and resulting hard core child abuse.  I hear her screaming at the receptionist as to my location.  And hear the receptionist reply "### is safe".  I then hear mom roaming thru the suite opening all the doors.  And eventually tries the examination room where the nurse and I are in.  So mom figures this is where I must be.  So mom starts pounding on the door in a rage.  Meanwhile the nurse in the room with me repeats to mom thru the door over and over, "### is safe".  Eventually mom's rage subsides.  And we exit the exam room.  And I end up in the room with mom and Dr Knabb.  And I still think I could get a beating at any second.  Dr Knabb tells mom how she "must control herself around her children".  Mom shakes her fist at him.  Dr Knabb hands mom a prescription.  Possibly for some qualude type drug.  Mom throws it in the trash can.  Dr Knabb tells her she "has no choice".  And hands her another prescription.  Mom throws that one in the trash too.  So Dr Knabb tells mom he will write a letter to the State Dept of Social Services.  Or whatever it is called back then.

I played 7th and 8th grade football.  And had to get a physical to play.  So we go to Dr Knabb.  This is around 7 or 8 years after the confrontation at Dr Knabbs office.  So again we are in the reception area, mom is told I am going back by myself.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out I will be questioned outside of mom's presence.  So mom pulls her "legal guardian" argument again.  This time it works.  And mom goes back with me.  So before the football physical begins Dr Knabb asks me how mom's temper is.  And of course I am smart enough to figure out if I tell the truth my home life will go in the toilet.  I had not gotten my ass kicked in a few years.  By this time I am at least as big as mom.  And could resist.  Looking back, mom would only attack me when I was too small to defend myself.  So I tell Dr Knabb, "I don't know".  So he looks at mom and asks her "how is your temper?".  Mom gets an angry look on her face and shakes her fist at him.  S Dr Knabb decides he is going to try and force me to snitch.  And says he may fail me on my football physical.  I say something like "you gotta do what ya gotta do".  So Dr Knabb realizes he has failed in this attempt to incriminate mom.  And gives/passes me on my football physical.