refinance the farm

Our house burned down when I was around 7, maybe.  Was owner financed.  Dude foreclosed.  So mom and dad were scrambling to refinance the farm.  So mom goes to a real estate finance place.  We were in the office.  In a reception area.  Receptionist tells mom we were denied the loan.  Mom asks to talk to the decision maker.  Remember mom telling dad that women could often get their way with men.  They anticipated being denied for the loan.  Receptionist tells mom no on her request to talk to the guy.  So mom has yet another psycho bitch meltdown, which results in me getting my ass savagely beat by mom yet again.  So I am taking my beating and see a lady watching with her hand over her mouth.  When I took these beatings, it was a slow motion thing.  And I could see and hear things around me.  So mom's rage eventually subsides.  And the receptionist says "you can leave now, we've called the police".   So we leave.  And as always I am hurting